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Once the idea of going on a date comes into your mind and you don't want to chase it out again, you're at least ready to start, she says. The idea is that you should consciously decide how you want to proceed," which will in turn inform how you go about meeting people.If it's truly awful, take a step back and wait some more. Gadoua, who runs dating workshops for women, asks them to free-associate words that come to mind when they think of "dating." Not surprisingly, words like "awful" and "dreadful" come up.Instead, "it's usually clear when you're not ready," says Susan Pease Gadoua, a therapist and author of .That is, "when the very idea turns you off." But you can decide that you're ready to at least try.

Kirschner, to build up a fantasy of what he is like based on his profile and the emails you exchange.

"My rule of thumb is to meet in person within two weeks of making online contact." Might as well find out as soon as you can if the chemistry is virtual—or real.

Of course, when you do meet, take basic safety precautions.

That said, don't let a fear of your children being upset or disapproving stop you from getting out there if you feel ready to.

Says Gadoua, "too many women hide behind their kids as an excuse not to date." Be upfront and respectful, but don't apologize for wanting to date.

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