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This has led many of us naive, unsuspecting singles to expect to suddenly wake up one morning with the perfect man/woman, a ring on our finger, passionate sex (that of course was saved for marriage without any sort of struggle), and a relationship with depth that's centered around Christ.
What I mean to say is, we know what we want and we expect God to get us there without any effort on our part.
It seemed odd that the premise of the book is "dating is stupid; but don't quit dating just b/c it's stupid, quit b/c there's something better out there called 'courtship'." Well first of all, to me, if I want to quit doing something b/c it's stupid, that's a good enough reason to quit! I read this book when I was a broken-hearted nineteen-year-old.
And secondly, I still don't see even one small remote difference in "dating" versus "courtship". At the time the idea of kissing dating goodbye and doing it in the name of God seemed like a grand idea.
I am grateful to have "Kissed dating Goodbye" because I now have a strong grasp on what I needed, versus what I wanted; which turned out to be a deeper relationship with Christ.
The repercussions of this are the cause of constant frustration in both sexes.
In concurrence with Harris' ideas, many of our parents, with the best intentions, told us pubescent, hormonal Christians that we should wait for "God to bring the right one"; that "God has designed someone just for you".
Harris has taken this idea and designed a dating paradigm that fosters to it, gearing up singles to pursue only that one, special, unique someone that God has made just for them.
About book: While the book is well-written and the ideas are well-expressed and thought out, Harris' theories just don't play well in a complex world filled with people.
There is no set of rules or philosophies that one can apply to Christian premarital romance (nor any kind of romance, nor any kind of relationship, for that matter), and I believe that, unfortunately, Harris' ideas are a contribution to a philosophy that has caused much pain and cynicism in young single Christian circles (I can say this from experience).
We don't need more books, we need older, experienced believers investing in us.